Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
