Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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