If i come over, it means nothing
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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