so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
