I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
