we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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