Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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