Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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