Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
