Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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