she was so not down for the gang bang
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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