This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
