I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
