sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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