How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
