can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
