on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
