What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
