69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
