You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
