There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
