Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

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  (805): I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun http://tfl.nu/vzxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1126) Bad night (844)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal

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  (816): You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal http://tfl.nu/06xx
  Replies (28) Good night (4444) Bad night (827)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.

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  (507): i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches. http://tfl.nu/cp2j
  Replies (14) Good night (6423) Bad night (930)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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  (908): just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/nghc
  Replies (20) Good night (5258) Bad night (1035)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  this study room smells like vodka

  (310): View more from California

  the study room thinks the same about you

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  (573): this study room smells like vodka (310): the study room thinks the same about you http://tfl.nu/w62g
  Replies (16) Good night (6450) Bad night (1197)
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  (818): View more from California

  we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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  (818): we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices. http://tfl.nu/8xc8
  Replies (9) Good night (2580) Bad night (890)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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  (317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (1135)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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  (519): Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene. http://tfl.nu/c9bu
  Replies (5) Good night (1332) Bad night (968)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will cut you

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Put that in perspective

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  (423): I will cut you (1-423): Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me (423): Put that in perspective http://tfl.nu/op5b
  Replies (10) Good night (1849) Bad night (693)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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  (815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1192) Bad night (618)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class

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  (204): She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class http://tfl.nu/61qs
  Replies (8) Good night (715) Bad night (478)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.

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  (801): She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch. http://tfl.nu/gwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (416)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.

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  (817): I want to just live in between your butt cheeks. http://tfl.nu/apm7
  Replies (14) Good night (609) Bad night (449)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth

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  (732): Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth http://tfl.nu/jmpm
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (295)
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  (818): View more from California

  I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit

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  (818): I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit http://tfl.nu/4a1u
  Replies (4) Good night (211) Bad night (430)

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