Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(502): Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER! http://tfl.nu/qf7o

Replies (9) Good night (998) Bad night (2081)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

(708): View more from Illinois

We need to hang out more often

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(419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9

Replies (13) Good night (2891) Bad night (696)
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(804): View more from Virginia

just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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(804): just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos http://tfl.nu/9tfl

Replies (14) Good night (6193) Bad night (667)
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(646): View more from New York

They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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(646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0

Replies (10) Good night (6953) Bad night (1202)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.

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(717): Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/jiq7

Replies (15) Good night (7510) Bad night (1305)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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(702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8

Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (2719)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

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(201): The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card. http://tfl.nu/lm1u

Replies (15) Good night (2843) Bad night (902)
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(509): View more from Washington

We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

(1-509): View more from Washington

You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

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(509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h

Replies (3) Good night (1475) Bad night (607)
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(248): View more from Michigan

He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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(248): He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. http://tfl.nu/m004

Replies (10) Good night (2486) Bad night (1106)
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(509): View more from Washington

Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.

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(509): Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option. http://tfl.nu/ikne

Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (383)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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(780): I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face. http://tfl.nu/4tu2

Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (475)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often

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(412): wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often http://tfl.nu/efwp

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (337)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.

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(423): Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days. http://tfl.nu/aq3h

Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (298)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.

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(780): I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong. http://tfl.nu/brwn

Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (802)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"

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(256): Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision" http://tfl.nu/n4ob

Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (763)

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