C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.