there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.