I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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