you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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