yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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