Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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