People in love make me want to vomit
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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