Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
