she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
