IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
