normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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