making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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