hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
