Christians are straight up FREAKS
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
