porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize