Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
