and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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