Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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