i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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