If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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