Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
