you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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