I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
