I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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