things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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