So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
