similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
