therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
