New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
