I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize