then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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