Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
