Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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