some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My life is pants optional.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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