I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i've created a new STD.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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