Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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