We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
