i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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