Already got asked if we're dating
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
