do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
