New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
