he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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