you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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