its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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